Today is my two month anniversary of coming out. It is also my 60th day of World of Warcraft sobriety. I used to be asked why all my characters were female. My response was “who wants to stare at a guy’s butt for hours and hours a day”. Well I think the real answer is obvious by now. Thanks to WoW I was able to be female in a safe and fun environment. Virtual worlds can be a really good way to begin exploring your transgendered self. A number of players actually thought i was a girl in real life. Unfortunately, it became an addiction. I was spending the time hiding from my family, friends and responsibilities. A virtual closet where I could hide away just like I hid my trans self. As much as I enjoy playing I had to leave Azeroth for the real world.
Now I do the mundane things of life like taking out the trash, doing dishes, grocery shopping, and helping the kids with homework. It’s strange but I am so much happier now. I never realized the time lost connecting with my family and my wife. Also the time lost exploring my real trans self.
Wearing a dress online can be fun but not nearly as fun as wearing a real one. Also, I wish I could have 5 years worth of subscription fees back. I’d have a really amazing wardrobe by now.
Oh well I can’t go back and change things now. Nor do I want to. Being a part of my family takes most of my time now and I’ll never trade that for anything. I might go back to World of Warcraft from time to time but just to visit. I still have friends there that I would like to stay in touch with. Most don’t know I am Rachel but I don’t think they would mind much. They already know me as Kailonia, Marifane, and Tesalia. What’s another name?