I’ve been a little depressed the past few days. It all started when my car did not pass the California emission test. The idle was all messed up and the car has been overheating as well. Well I was forced to take it in for service.
I initially the service tech estimated the repairs at about $700. Gradually it became clear that was a tad bit low. A bit more digging under the hood and another $600 in fix this or else stuff.
Let me point out that I dropped the car off while I was at work. This meant I was presenting female. I was getting a bit tired of having car stuff explained to me in the most basic terms. Ahem, I used to work on my own cars. The worst thing that was said to me (twice by the way) was “Your husband should take better care of your car”. This is why I’m glad my daughter took auto shop this year. Even when I obviously understood what the service tech was telling me he kept cutting me off to explain things. I gave up, told the tech to fix what was necessary and leave the rest of the non essential stuff for later.
If another genetic woman tells me that I have no clue what they go through every day I’ll scream. I know exactly what they are talking about because I experience it first hand. This extends to work as well which also was helping along my depression. Even though the people I work with used to come to me for information now they treat me like my input is suspect. It’s like ‘your just a girl let the guys handle this’. Some of the women don’t seem to like it because I might be coming off as some know it all bitch. On top of it all I’m getting sick of the ‘you the man’ and ‘thank you sir’ comments in my e-mails. I’m still not allowed to point out which pronouns I prefer. It really sucks when I have to deal with ‘hey man, can you take care of this for me ‘ comments when wearing a silk blouse, full skirt, heels, and pink lip gloss.
Another thing that has been feeding my depression has been my facial hair. Due to our financial situation I haven’t had the discretionary income to spend on electrolysis. I was thinking about about how inmates in old prison movies used cigarettes as an underground currency. I found myself creating a similar way to gauge my expenses in terms of electrolysis sessions. Not exactly a healthy way of viewing the world. For example the current cost of repairs to my car was nearly 18 sessions. I could almost feel the stubble grow looking at it that way.
Thursday afternoon rolled around and I got another call from the car dealer. Weeeeeellllll….more bad news. The water pump was trashed. Approximate cost, 10 sessions. I almost smashed my head into my keyboard. My friend Hanalena tried to get me to look at the repair cost in a better way. She did point out that without a car I would have trouble getting to work. No work = no money for anything, let alone hair removal. She also made it clear that a new car would put more than a serious dent in my transition expenses. A little dose of reality made it a bit more tolerable. Still I wasn’t too happy.
The dealer was nice enough to provide me a rental car. (I have a little more about my rental experience in another post) Turned out I got a nice black Lincoln with a big v8 engine. Lucky for me it had the sport package. Big smiles and some screeching tires ensued. Also, I did look awesome getting out of it in stiletto heels and a short pencil skirt.
Friday afternoon I got a call from the dealer expecting to be told my car was finished. Nope, no such luck. However they did have a total for me. 27 sessions! Aaaarrrrgggghhh!!! At least I got the rental for my support group meeting.
I would like to take a second to bring attention to a member of my group. Her name is Corrine and she has a YouTube channel Transrinlove. She started her transition around when I started mine last year. She is a truly amazing person. Please look her up if you have a chance.