SB 48 and more anger

We decided to attend church tonight so that we would have tomorrow open for my son’s birthday. I have not been feeling very good today and at one point felt faint during mass. Needles to sat my mood was not very good either. The mass itself went pretty well. The bishop was visiting and he introduced a new seminarian who is assigned to our parish for the next two years. At the end of mass one of the deacons read the announcements. He was asking the congregation to sign a petition after mass to overturn SB 48. He was reading a prepared statement that specifically mentioned transgender people and their sexual orientation. I know that we were targeted simply because of the controversy over Chaz Bono’s appearance on Dancing with the Stars. I was getting very agitated at this point and even my wife was preparing herself for an outburst from me. I held my tongue even as the deacon couldn’t bring himself to pronounce the word transgender properly. The rest of the LGB spectrum was also mentioned briefly, “The bill would also mention Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual lifestyles as well”. Wow, I didn’t realize that trans people are now an even larger threat to our children than gays or lesbians.

I knew that there might be some mention of SB 48 given the e-mail that was sent to me the other day. So I was a bit prepared. But not prepared enough I guess. What pissed me off the most was when my oldest son asked if I was going to sign the petition. I pulled him aside after church and explained what that meant. Once he heard that the bill was about educating kids about the LGBT community he came to the conclusion that people would be less likely to bully or harass LGBT people. I told him that because I have LGBT friends I could not in good conscience sign any petition that would discriminate or harm my friends. My son understood and said it was OK then. If I had not been there to explain to my son about the impact of SB 48 he would have agreed to repealing the bill without questioning it. This is the kind of prejudice, fear and hatred we have to fight as a community. I will start that fight beginning with my own family.

California FAIR Education Act and why the LGBT community should care

California introduced bill SB 48 that mandates the inclusion of the contributions of the LGBT community into social science instruction. It also bans adoption of any discriminatory materials and instruction by the state board of education. The overall purpose of this bill is to educate kids in age appropriate ways about the LGBT community. The idea is that this will promote understanding and tolerance among school age children thus lessening harassment, bullying, and violence against LGBT students.

Being a T in the LGBT spectrum I applaud the legislators who created this bill. I think it can work if done right. I was the target of bullying when I was in school. I was small and not very masculine. “Gay, fag, sissy, and geek were common insults thrown my way. I didn’t even know what gay or fag meant. I just knew by the way those words were used that being called them was really bad. I even had an adult neighbor that called me a sissy in front of my parents. He also loved to call me by a feminine form of my male name. My parents just said to ignore him.

I was often targeted for harassment by bullies because of my small size. Luckily a had friends that were bigger and tougher than me and they helped me numerous times. Without those friends I don’t know how I would have ended up. Eventually I did learn to stand up for myself and reached a point where I was left alone.

I have no idea if the kind of education proposed in SB 48 would have helped me back then. But, the world is a different place than when I was a kid. Gay, Lesbian and Transgender children and teens are coming out at earlier ages. My kids actually know some gays. When I was their age I didn’t even know gays existed. My wife and I try to create an environment of tolerance and acceptance. I think it’s working.

Now here ‘s the big ISSUE. I have to preface this by pointing out that I am Catholic. Still practicing, which is a wonderment to most, given the Church’s amazing track record with LGBT people. Well my boys attend a Catholic private school. I usually get the occasional e-mails about fund raising drives, parent meetings, and lice warnings. Yesterday I got one that really pissed me off. “Please join the movement to repeal SB 48!” was the title. In the e-mail the sender had to point out that this bill is going to force the ‘GAY AGENDA’ on our innocent children. The only agenda that the LGBT community has is to stop people from harrassing them and beating them up. They want to be understood and accepted. The e-mail goes on the talk about the “onslaught on our children” and the teaching of “biased history”. I got news for them, the history they teach has always been biased. Biased towards the Caucasian, specifically the white Anglo-Saxon Protestant view of history. We the members of the LGBT community are portrayed as deviant freaks trying to engage children in discussions about our Sexual Orientations! OH MY!! My sexual orientation is none of their business thank you. Plus they make it sound like transgender people are all about sexual orientation. Gays, Lesbians and Bi folk are defined in part by their sexual orientation. Trans folk are not. We are nothing if not fluid in our orientations. Many remain attracted to the sex they were before transition. Besides, if a gay man becomes a woman then isn’t he straight? How deviant is that.

My daughter once told me that the parents in our church would be surprised at the number of gay and bi students that come out of that school. Most only come out in high school. All but one of those my daughter knows had positive experiences coming out to their parents and family. Plus my daughter was hit on a few times because more than a few girls thought she was a lesbian. She politely says “I’m straight, but thanks for asking” and she goes on her way. That is how I want all my kids to behave. This hateful and venomous movement by members of my Church and it’s schools could undermine that. I do not want them to tell my kids that their dad is a freak to be pitied. Or worse that I have to be prayed for so I can be cured. God had a plan for me and somehow in his infinite wisdom or terrific sense of humor he decided to make me trans. Well, if He made me this way why would he ‘cure’ me. I have been taught that my God loves me. How cruel would he have to be to give me this cross to bear and then tell me it was all a mistake. I don’t think so.

I have to believe that He gave me this gift. Now I have to figure out what to do with it. I’ll tell you what I am not going to do. I will not let my church or anyone tell me that I chose to be this way and as such I am evil. If I could have chosen between being trans and being ‘normal’ guess what? Normal looks pretty good. A lot less pain and suffering for everyone involved. But I AM TRANS! It certainly has turned my life upside down. But it has also given me experiences that ‘normal’ people will never have. I may not have wanted to be transexual but I accept it now. And I want my children to grow up in a world that will allow them to accept it too.

(note to my readers if you made it this far, to put things in perspective, I wrote this in between coats of nail polish on my toes. Proof that God does have a wicked sense of humor)
Hugs,
-Rachel