Girl talk: Purses

I used to dread shopping with my wife even before we were married. Luckily she’s the kind of woman that hates to shop. She knows what she wants, grabs it, tries it on, buys it or puts it back for another size.

Because she’s fast and determined she can’t be tied down with a purse. You guessed it, here I come, purse holder guy. “Here hold this, I’ll be right back”. That was my cue to stand there looking dumb holding her purse. If I was lucky I might have a companion in the same boat. We could chat about how stupid purses are and why our women have to carry them. Plus, they can be quite heavy. My wife once complained about her arms getting flabby. I thought “How?!?!, you lug 30lbs of crap with you every day”.

WELL, I changed my tune. I love my purse. It holds all my shit in one place. Wallet, phone, keys, makeup, makeup brushes, more makeup, tissues, pen, pad, hairbrush, multi-tool, compact mirror, chapstick, Tylenol, mini flashlight, mound of change…..etc. No more do I have to sit lopsided on my thick wallet. No more do I have to jingle jangle with keys and change bulging out of my pocket. No more do I worry that my bar of soap slick iphone will just slide out of my pocket while getting out of the car. God made purses so you can stand around carrying every necessity you could possible need and keep your hands free while looking for more stuff to cram into it.

I love my purse(s)! I forgot to mention that you can’t just have one. Oh no! You must have at least a dozen to match that one particular outfit or fit that one special occasion that’s so special you’ll never get to use that purse again. Wife to the rescue! Just borrow the ones she never uses. Now I have to go buy outfits to match them.